CLICK HERE FOR BLOGGER TEMPLATES AND MYSPACE LAYOUTS »

Saturday 31 January 2009

TRYING TIMES AHEAD

Hi everyone,
It's been too long since my last post and I'm hoping to catch up with you all over the next few days, so please bear with me...
My Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimers last year, although we never told him he has it because he would only worry about us....
He's on medication to slow it down but I suppose the inevitable will happen one day.
He suffered another minor stroke a few weeks ago and has only recently come home from the hospital.
The effect of the stroke has worsened his condition considerably and he just sits in his chair and sleeps most of the day now..
We got used to him not being able to remember names and places, although he never forgets his army number, which always amazes us..
But now, he tells us he loves us all the time, as if he thinks he's going somewhere.. The day we brought him home from the hospital, he started with paranoia. He said we were all aliens out to stop him from going home.. We were all plotting against him.. Hiding behind walls talking about how we could stop him from coming home..
Really upsetting to see and hear, especially for my Mum.
I look at him and still see my Dad, my protector and my hero but then, I see a frail, frightened old man, who relies on us for everything now and it terrifies me.
I have secretly become very aware of my own mortality and wonder what my later years hold for me.. but for now, I have to be strong for my Mum and my family needs to pull together to be strong for my Dad..
I always knew these days would come but now they're here, I don't know what to do.
I just can't imagine life without my Dad.