Friday, 20 October 2006


Hi everyone,

Sorry I haven't posted for a while but I've been really down in the dumps with Steven's state of mind lately.

Seems everytime I try to explain that I know how he feels, he bites my head off saying that I don't.

I've suffered these attacks for 15 years now and I know more than anyone how it feels to be fighting to breathe and scared to death, thinking you're going to die.

I've been taking a drug called Imipramine for 12 years now and find it a really good drug for me. It makes me drift off into a normal sleep pattern, although these past few nights I've been having panic attacks all over again, worrying about Steven.

He's very young to be having these problems but I'm trying to let him know that I'm here for him when he needs to talk. But everytime we have a conversation, he ends up biting my head off.

Feel sure that his synusus are blocked too, making it harder for him to breathe when he lays down to sleep and I think he's confusing one with the other.

I always use my mentholated crystals when I get congested, think I 'll get him some tomorrow.

All I can do is be here when he needs me. Though, just lately,it doesn't seem to help.

Hope everyone is well and not too fed up of reading gloomy journal entries.

Hopefully, things will get back to normal soon, then we can all enjoy Christmas.

Love and hugs to all

x  x  x



ukgal36 said...

Sorry pat.. I had a feeling something was wrong.. must be so frustrating for you.. hang in there...

rainy35 said...

I'm not going anywhere no matter how "gloomy" your posts are.  You're a worried Mum.  That's natural.  I know how it feels to just be there for our kids and feeling it doesn't help.  Things will get better soon.

faircolleen said...

Mums always get it Pat. . you are so lovely been there for him.When its our kids that are troubled we cant help but worry too. Best Wishes to you.

seraphoflove9001 said...

Hugs to you Pat....It's great that you are there for him! :o) And no way...I've not read nothing gloomy in your journal..just life! :o) I'm sure Stevie doesn't mean to bite your head off...maybe it's just through being frustrated and scared. Hang in ther hon. :o) Prayers are with you both. :o)

sneezy7125 said...

I'm positive that Stevie doesn't mean to bite your head off when you talk about this, but he's just frustrated... he feels like no one understands what he's trying to convey, even if you think you do. Even if you really do. Just give it time.

It's hard on both of you, I know. I've let Stevie know that I'm always here for him if he needs me, and I extend that same offer to you.


ally123130585918 said...

Pat sorry you are having a hard time at the moment ~ I know how much you must be worried about Stevie ~ and I'm sure he dos'n't mean to bite your head off ~ I wish I could help but all I can do is hope things get better for your both ~ Ally

deshelestraci said...

I know it must to hard to watch your child go through a horrible time and not be able to help.  I've only had minor panic attacks, can't imagine how scarey it must be for both of you.  It doesn't sound like Stevie when you say he is biting your head off.  He must be so scared.
On the cute side of life, my Westie, Scout is perched on the couch next to me looking so sweet!  I would love to see more pics of yours!

cgtperkins said...

Im sure Stevie doesnt mean to bite your head off. I really hope things get better for him, I know he is really haveing a hard time.

lanurseprn said...

I agree with everything Morgan said down below.  Ditto!

zoepaul6968 said...

I was catching up with blogs lately as ive not been about,i noticed stevie feels no-one understands him,and i guess hes right we all feel unique in our illnesses,he needs to learn to relax more,its unnessasary stress,hes a great guy and i know you can help him and do all you can,he knows you love him and hes just a scared young man,christmas will bring you all back to ground,all the best xxzoexx