THE DREADED F WORD

As you know, my Mother In Law is critically ill in Ulster Hospital at the moment recovering from pneumonia and a gall bladder operation.I love her very much and am very anxious to go and see her. I have to focus on that as I have to do the dreaded "F " word tomorrow.... FLY.....I absolutely LOATHE it. We usually go by ferry from Stranraer and I LOVE it but tomorrow, as it's quicker and cheaper, we have to FLY....It also means we have no car when we get there, as it will be left behind at the airport.I have suffered from agoraphobia for fifteen years now and anyone who suffers it will know EXACTLY how I'm feeling at the moment.I also suffer some form of separation disorder, as I can't be alone anywhere, I HAVE to see a familiar face wherever I am. I couldn't even be alone in the house at one point, although I have won that battle I hope.I panic when I'm away from home too, so that's another battle I have to fight over the next few days.This is SO not me. I have sung in front of people and am a very outgoing person really. It's SO frustrating, I swear at myself under by breath...My Brother suffers the same problem and so does Steven, to an extent. I'm beginning to agree with the Doctor's that it IS a hereditary thing but where did it start ?Oh well, no point worrying myself about it. I HAVE to get on and do it, for Emily.